you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
