moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
