you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
