hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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