dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
this hospital has no fireball
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
