This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
