I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I love having hate sex.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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