U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
