am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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