Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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