Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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