I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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