Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
