OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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