4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There r osticjed everywhere
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
