I think im going to throw up on grandma
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
