Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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