dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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