East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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