and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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