sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
