need another drink. this is the easiest way
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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