Who did Billy Mays play for?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
