I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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