Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
