But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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