we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
