You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
