Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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