You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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