I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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