have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
