marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
