my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
