So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
