would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize