girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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