I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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