just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
