I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
