My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
