I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
