"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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