This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
