Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
