Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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