Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
