I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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