I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize