3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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