I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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