so explain again why im purple
no
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
