I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
