My vagina just recognized that song.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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