that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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