It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
