I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
