I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
