she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize