do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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