this boner is exhausting
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
