hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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