then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
