so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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