jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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