my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
When are your genitals available?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize