Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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