like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
