Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
did i walk over a car last night?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
