I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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