Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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