This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Someone came in the potted fern
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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